ATTENTION MOM-JEANS EVERYWHERE!
Do you know what mom-jeans are?
If your jeans snap (or button) above your belly button – LET SOMEONE ELSE LOVE THEM, DONATE TO GOODWILL. If the back pockets of your jeans are so big that they completely cover your back-side, please, DONATE THEM TO GOODWILL!
We’re all friends here, right? I don’t want to see your backside in next month’s edition of Glamour magazine in the “Fashion Don’t” section!
Trinny and Susannah, fashion gurus from the UK “What Not To Wear” TV show, appeared on the Oprah Show (in 2006). They perfectly describe what mom-jeans are:
Mom jeans always are tapered or high-waisted. Plain and simple – they make your legs look shorter, your stomach bigger and your rear longer! Who wants a long rear? And if you’re pear-shaped like Trinny, tapered jeans exaggerate the width of your hips. If you have a flabby belly, don’t wear super-low hipster jeans. Unless you want to look heavier than you are, never wear light colored jeans.
The ONLY time to wear peg-legged (tapered) jeans is if you are very thin and have great ankles…and want to show them off. This can (and I emphasize the word CAN) be a fashion forward look…but isn’t flattering for 99.9% of the women who try to wear them.
Still not convinced? You should know this…tapered denim only accentuates the width of the hips. In other words, it makes you look heavier than you are, and makes your backside look wider than it is. Plus, the tapered effect often leaves women looking like ice cream cones. Hold your jeans up and look at the shape – this is the shape they’re going to give your body! If I have said this one time over the past 15 years…I tell you, I’ve said it a MILLION times! Clothes DO NOT change shape…the illusion of YOUR SHAPE changes based on what shape clothing you wear.
Now…let’s talk about the rise. The rise of a jean is the length of the zipper, or the distance from the cross-point where the lege come together to the top of the waistband. A common mistake I see with the Mom-jean lovers out there is wearing a rise that is just TOO high!
If the waist band of your jeans is above your belly button…you are wearing Mom-jeans! Wearing a jean with a waist this high will make your backside look like a pancake. It will also shrink the length of your torso, and make you appear shorter and stockier. Now…I can bet most of you want to look taller and leaner – right?
While moms may not want to wear their daughters’ trendy, low-rise jeans, there are plenty of brands out there that cater to mature women with good fashion sense…in a very VERY flattering way.
So – what to do with all those Mom-jeans you find at Goodwill? Stay tuned…I have some ideas for you!
Photo Credits: Honestly, I can’t remember where I found these pics! I am sure they came from Trinny and Susannah or Oprah…so let’s give them credit!